Let's Talk About Men's Mental Health

Despite the growing conversation around mental well-being, men are still far less likely to speak to friends or family about their mental health or seek professional help when something feels wrong.

According to the Bupa Wellbeing Index (2025), only around a quarter of men (24%) who’ve struggled with mental health say they would talk to their friends about their struggles.

So, what’s stopping them?

In this article, we’ll explore the unique challenges men face when it comes to mental health, the role of gender stereotypes, and how we can help break the silence.

Men’s vs. Women’s Mental Health: What’s the Difference?

Let’s be clear: mental health doesn’t have a gender. Anxiety, depression, trauma, and stress can affect anyone. However, the way people experience and respond to mental health challenges can be shaped by gender.

According to Samaritans (2023), men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women. But why is that?

In part, it stems from the fact that, from an early age, boys are often taught that showing emotion is a weakness. While girls are more likely to be encouraged to talk about their feelings, express themselves, and seek comfort when upset, boys are frequently told to “man up”, “be strong”, or “toughen up”. These messages don’t build resilience – they teach them to hide their pain.

Over time, vulnerability becomes shame. Silence becomes survival. And too many men learn to suffer alone because they find it too hard to open up.

While mental health challenges can manifest differently for everyone, men often express them in ways that don’t match the stereotypical signs we’re taught to look for. Feelings of sadness, for example, might show up as anger or irritability. Or, rather than effectively managing anxiety, men might instead become withdrawn, overwork themselves, or rely on other unhealthy coping habits like drinking or avoiding social contact to get by.

Because these behaviours are less often recognised as symptoms of mental distress, men’s mental health struggles are more likely to go unnoticed or undiagnosed – sometimes until they reach a breaking point.

Why Telling Young Men to “Man Up” Is Part of the Problem

One of the biggest barriers to better mental health for men is a simple but damaging idea: that “real men” are always strong, independent, and in control – a myth reinforced by a patriarchal society.

While the patriarchy is often discussed in terms of how it oppresses women and marginalised groups (and rightfully so), it’s important to recognise that it also harms men.

At its core, patriarchy enforces rigid expectations that men should be stoic, strong, dominant, emotionally detached, etc. These ideas pressure men by making them feel ashamed to show any sign of vulnerability. When mental health struggles are instead hidden behind anger and withdrawal, it often results in pushing loved ones away, creating a cycle of isolation that reinforces this painful narrative.

To break this cycle, we need to challenge the idea that vulnerability is weakness and start treating emotional honesty as a vital part of not just being a man but being human.

Dr Hasanen Al-Taiar, forensic psychiatrist, explains:

“Psychiatric conditions can be more challenging to diagnose and treat in men. This could be for a variety of reasons including men’s reluctance to seek professional help. In the UK, men are only around half as likely as women to access psychological therapies, and it’s also believed they are less likely to speak to family or friends about mental health issues.”

How Men Can Start Taking Care of Their Mental Health

Mental health is just as important as physical health, and it deserves the same level of care. If you’ve been feeling off, overwhelmed, or disconnected, here are five small steps that can help you get started:

1. Notice How You're Really Feeling: The first step to better mental health is simply pausing long enough to notice what’s going on beneath the surface. Start by simply checking in with yourself once a day and acknowledging what you’re feeling, without judging it.

2. Talk to Someone You Trust: You don’t have to dive into a full heart-to-heart. “I’ve been feeling off lately,” or “I think I’ve been more stressed than I realised.” Whether it’s a friend, partner, or family member, saying something out loud helps break mental barriers and creates space for support.

3. Try Writing Things Down: Writing down your thoughts can help you process difficult emotions and spot patterns in your mental health. It’s a quiet way to check in with yourself, and it can be surprisingly effective.

4. Prioritise Small, Supportive Habits: You don’t need a full lifestyle overhaul to improve your mental health. Small, consistent habits go a long way: Move your body every day, stick to a regular sleep schedule, and limit alcohol, especially if you’re using it to unwind.

5. Consider Speaking to a Professional: You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. In fact, therapy can help you understand your own mind better — long before things reach a breaking point. You can talk to your GP about a referral or look into private counselling and investigate the best option for you.

Where Men in the UK Can Find Mental Health Support:

If you’re not sure where to turn, there are organisations across the UK that offer safe, supportive spaces designed specifically for men. Whether you’re looking for peer support, someone to talk to, or a place to start your mental health journey, these resources are a great first step:

Let’s Talk Mate – Solent Mind

Let’s Talk Mate is a male-focused mental health initiative run by Solent Mind, aimed at encouraging open conversations between men about how they feel. They offer free peer support groups in a relaxed, friendly environment where men can connect, share, and support each other — no pressure, no judgment. It’s ideal for anyone who just wants to talk to other men who get it.

Men Who Talk

Men Who Talk is a free, UK-based platform offering weekly online support sessions for men. These are safe, inclusive spaces where men can talk openly about mental health, masculinity, identity, etc. Whether you’re new to mental health conversations or looking for community, it’s a low-barrier, high-impact place to start.

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably)

CALM is one of the UK’s leading mental health charities focused on preventing male suicide. They offer a free, confidential helpline (5pm–midnight, 365 days a year) and webchat for anyone who needs to talk. CALM also runs powerful awareness campaigns to challenge outdated views of masculinity and mental health.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

Mental health is complex, but it’s not something that has to be faced alone. Breaking through old stereotypes starts with small steps like noticing how you feel, opening up to someone you trust, or reaching out for professional support.

The more we normalise these conversations, the easier it becomes for others to do the same. Change doesn’t happen all at once, but every honest conversation helps move things forward.